Christmas, Corruption, and the American Dream

                 
                I really hate Christmas, probably because I was the kid on the block without a Christmas Tree. We just had a Hanukkah Bush, and really didn't even decorate. I remember when we lived on 30th we had a window seat, it was filled with all these old Hanukkah decorations. Probably given to us by my Grandmother to encourage Judaism amongst our household. Ever since I could remember I have always been depressed, or downish during this season. Even when you get gifts, it doesn't for me fill the void. I guess now that I have a daughter, I should probably be more chipper about it, we will deck our tree this year. But I guess considering that my father passed away almost 2 years ago almost around this time. It sours me a bit, he died a day after my husband and my wedding anniversary. So yeah not much to look forward too. And because we are Jewish, we have to mourn him in every fucking way possible, ridiculous, He practically had two funerals, and on his death day we have to keep this little light bulb with the star of David lit for 24 hours straight. I do not know how this tradition can run so rampant throughout this family for so long, without someone protesting. Christmas movies help a lot, for me at least, and seeing my daughter's face when the tree is lit, makes all those feelings wash away. It is only once a year, and I suppose when we have an actual house, it will be more on our terms.