As though it were easy for you to lead me I could be passive gracefully: November 2010

Sunday, November 28, 2010

No matter the phase, my name is engraved
In the minds of the young
To be living til' their grave
You live and you learn
Doing bumps in the day
Keep blunts to burn

Here lies Love

When I was a young girl in Leyte
My dresses were all hand-me-downs and scrubs
I’d see the people smile, and I would sing for them
How happy they all seemed when I would dance

We lived a stone’s throw from the palace
A simple country girl who had a dream
Ladies passing by of better class than I
How much it meant to me
To be like these

Is it a sin to love too much?
Is it a sin to care?
I’d do it all for you
How can it be unfair?
I know that when my number’s up
When I am called by God above
Don’t have my name inscribed into the stone
Just say, “Here lies love!” “Here lies love!” Here lies love!”
Just say, “Here lies love!” “Here lies love!” Here lies love!”

The most important things are love and beauty
It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor
To prosper and to fly
A basic human right
The feeling in your heart that you’re secure

Is it a sin to love too much?
Is it a sin to care?
I’d do it all for you
How can it be unfair?
I know that when my number’s up
When I am called by God above
Don’t have my name inscribed into the stone
Just say, “Here lies love!” “Here lies love!” Here lies love!”
Just say, “Here lies love!” “Here lies love!” Here lies love!”
I know that when my number’s up
When I am called by God above
Don’t have my name inscribed into the stone
Just say, “Here lies love!” “Here lies love!” Here lies love!”
Just say, “Here lies love!” “Here lies love!” Here lies love!”

Christmas, Corruption, and the American Dream

I really hate Christmas, probably because I was the kid on the block without a Christmas Tree. We just had a Hanukkah Bush, and really didn't even decorate. I remember when we lived on 30th we had a window seat, it was filled with all these old Hanukkah decorations. Probably given to us by my Grandmother to encourage Judaism amongst our household. Ever since I could remember I have always been depressed, or downish during this season. Even when you get gifts, it doesn't for me fill the void. I guess now that I have a daughter, I should probably be more chipper about it, we will deck our tree this year. But I guess considering that my father passed away almost 2 years ago almost around this time. It sours me a bit, he died a day after my husband and my wedding anniversary. So yeah not much to look forward too. And because we are Jewish, we have to mourn him in every fucking way possible, ridiculous, He practically had two funerals, and on his death day we have to keep this little light bulb with the star of David lit for 24 hours straight. I do not know how this tradition can run so rampant throughout this family for so long, without someone protesting. Christmas movies help a lot, for me at least, and seeing my daughter's face when the tree is lit, makes all those feelings wash away. It is only once a year, and I suppose when we have an actual house, it will be more on our terms.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Take me for a ride Oh baby, take me high Let me make you first Oh make it last all night

"Disintegration---I'm taking it in stride."

There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul's apartment overlooks the park... and is obviously more expensive than mine.

"I'm into, oh murders and executions mostly. It depends."

"Open the hood of a car and it will tell you something about the people who designed it, is just one of many phrases I’m tortured by."

Confession

"A curtain of stars, miles of them, are scattered, glowing, across the sky and their multitude humbles me, which I have a hard time tolerating. She shrugs and nods after I say something about forms of anxiety. It's as if her mind is having a hard time communicating with her mouth, as if she is searching for a rational analysis of who I am, which is, of course, an impossibility: there... is... no... key."

"This is not an exit."

He was into that whole Yale thing.

A million miles I have danced, or more,
In hopes Prince Charming would cross the floor,
I can't understand it, I've waltzed and I've whirled,
But my goodness me it's a great big world.